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The Rejection Test: "...Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner."

Dealing With Rejection: this short article at CoreDiscipleship.com helps us learn to deal with rejection.


Thoughts?

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Personally, I find rejection in the midst of doing ministry easy to accept, endure, or understand compared to rejection by family. I'm not talking about the kind of rejection that can come as a consequence for one's sinful behavior. I'm talking about the kind of rejection that can come from parents who reject a child at birth (simply because they exist) or who give up their parental rights later on down the road (I'm not talking about the parent who loves a child but isn't able to care from them so they put them up for adoption). I'm talking about the kind of rejection that is fueled by evil, or by mental illness of a parent or authority figure. Reject by family wounds to the core of a person's identity, and the wounded child within can have a really hard time finding comfort in knowing that Jesus also suffered because they often struggle with the "why" questions or the "where was God when..." questions. None of this negates the truth of Scripture of course, but this is the reality that some struggle with.

Interesting article, and a nice reminder. Mary, Jesus' mother, was a virgin - had a virgin birth, she "held these things close to her heart" (thoughts and sayings) from prophets, to the shepherds and the Magi and all the miracles she experienced - even went to her Son to ask Him to provide wine at the wedding (showing she KNEW He had abilities of some kind), responded to the direction of angels when they left to flee to Egypt and then return from it, and yet as his ministry DID begin she thought he was mentally unbalanced? What was she really thinking? Did she believe he was unbalanced, or did she seek to appease those around her who demanded an explanation? So many times we strive to keep appearances with an "acceptable" excuse rather than the reality. Perhaps she was frightened and responded not out of a belief he was unbalanced, but in an attempt to protect Him or ward off anger at him. She was still a mother.

 

Both parents rejected me from birth - constantly telling me they wished I'd never been born. I learned to trust God and believe HE had a reason for my birth. But it's still hard to be rejected by those we admire or like.

I relate very well with your response, Becky. I, too, was rejected by my dad when only eight. His last words to me were devastating. However, God orchestrated many godly men and women into my life and has healed much of the damage. However, on occasion, something triggers something and I'm reminded of my past. Little by little, I am learning to "see" and "interpret" events more in line with God's Word and in His Spirit. God is truly amazing!

Becky said:

Interesting article, and a nice reminder. Mary, Jesus' mother, was a virgin - had a virgin birth, she "held these things close to her heart" (thoughts and sayings) from prophets, to the shepherds and the Magi and all the miracles she experienced - even went to her Son to ask Him to provide wine at the wedding (showing she KNEW He had abilities of some kind), responded to the direction of angels when they left to flee to Egypt and then return from it, and yet as his ministry DID begin she thought he was mentally unbalanced? What was she really thinking? Did she believe he was unbalanced, or did she seek to appease those around her who demanded an explanation? So many times we strive to keep appearances with an "acceptable" excuse rather than the reality. Perhaps she was frightened and responded not out of a belief he was unbalanced, but in an attempt to protect Him or ward off anger at him. She was still a mother.

 

Both parents rejected me from birth - constantly telling me they wished I'd never been born. I learned to trust God and believe HE had a reason for my birth. But it's still hard to be rejected by those we admire or like.

Doug, God has been incredible - and brought many people into my life who do love and admire and respect and turn to me. A parent's love is somehow so critical to us because they are our parents. We are not alone. Millions are nursing memories of the pain of parental rejection. Mine still hurts a little, like a joint before a rain storm, but I know God is my parent, my father and His love is the one that matters most....I learned that giving love and support - even when we don't know the person, can often heal a wound we can't see. There were people I met as a teenager who provided a healthy, loving model of a parent without even knowing it. I think having felt rejection it's so much more important to me to ensure others feel accepted, valued and loved in very real and concrete ways. It's the silver lining God gives every cloud I suppose. I'm sorry for your pain and whatever words your father left you with - and so glad you did find God!!

Hey Becky,

 

Thank you. Yes, God is truly "father to the fatherless". Blessings!

Becky said:

Doug, God has been incredible - and brought many people into my life who do love and admire and respect and turn to me. A parent's love is somehow so critical to us because they are our parents. We are not alone. Millions are nursing memories of the pain of parental rejection. Mine still hurts a little, like a joint before a rain storm, but I know God is my parent, my father and His love is the one that matters most....I learned that giving love and support - even when we don't know the person, can often heal a wound we can't see. There were people I met as a teenager who provided a healthy, loving model of a parent without even knowing it. I think having felt rejection it's so much more important to me to ensure others feel accepted, valued and loved in very real and concrete ways. It's the silver lining God gives every cloud I suppose. I'm sorry for your pain and whatever words your father left you with - and so glad you did find God!!

I am new here, and I agree with you on this topic.  I do Christian ministry where I publically offer prayer for hurting people outside our courthouse (an organized multichurch ministry in my city).   I have never struggled with rejection from people who have not wanted me to minster to them - but personal rejection like by family or by others for whatever reason - even sometimes reasons you can't understand - is much harder.

 

I think perhaps God just gives us a lot of grace when we are doing His work - grace to not take rejection in ministry to heart. 

I live in my city alone,  and have lost a lot of my family (lost them to death).   So I am trying to learn to handle misunderstanding and rejection better. 

 

I also go to a large "mega" church in town - its a wonderful church made up of very imperfect people, including myself.  So the church itself teaches me how to love and accept others - even when they might not be loving and accepting me too well.  Mostly, my church is the best thing in my life and I love them all - but we have our moments!

Rejection is a hard issue.  But we can ask God to give us grace to deal with it.

Jenni Biegler said:

Personally, I find rejection in the midst of doing ministry easy to accept, endure, or understand compared to rejection by family. I'm not talking about the kind of rejection that can come as a consequence for one's sinful behavior. I'm talking about the kind of rejection that can come from parents who reject a child at birth (simply because they exist) or who give up their parental rights later on down the road (I'm not talking about the parent who loves a child but isn't able to care from them so they put them up for adoption). I'm talking about the kind of rejection that is fueled by evil, or by mental illness of a parent or authority figure. Reject by family wounds to the core of a person's identity, and the wounded child within can have a really hard time finding comfort in knowing that Jesus also suffered because they often struggle with the "why" questions or the "where was God when..." questions. None of this negates the truth of Scripture of course, but this is the reality that some struggle with.

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